Conservatory Graduation – Vickie Eisenstein

ME WITH MY DIPLOMA! THEY CAN'T TAKE THIS AWAY NOW! I WON! IT'S MINE! MY OWN! MY PRECIOUS!!!!! — ME WITH MY DIPLOMA! THEY CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY NOW! I WON! IT’S MINE! MY OWN! MY PRECIOUS!!!!!

It took me two tries to get into conservatory to begin with. Then, at the audition for level 3 it took me three tries. I was the little engine that could. Thomas the Tank had nothing on me. Platform 9 and three quarters was consistently playing hide and seek with me and I finally won!

I’m out of train references…

Anyway, it took me three tries to get into level 3 and once I did, my class was a hodgepodge of other classes that had been dismembered, infused with a handful of re-auditioning students who were also on their second and third attempts at conservatory glory.

Here's my class all together at the graduation ceremony! Those t-shirts only cost us $2,000. — Here’s my class all together at the graduation ceremony! Those t-shirts only cost us $2,000.

The class itself was Saturday morning! I loved it, I hated it, I was usually somewhat late for it… I never hooked up with anyone from class, but I still think there’s a chance?

No. I’m fooling myself 🙁

Some of the teachers liked me. Maybe? I hope.

Goldstein was the baby daddy we always hoped would come back. We loved him and wanted him to stay, but he had more important shit to do.

Gellman was then assigned as our guardian and was so displeased that he asked us, “Do you need to be disbanded?” He told us we were the worst class he’d had in all his years at the Second City…. I cried once. How could I not know that Second City expressly forbids its performers to do animal object work???? How could I be stupid enough to milk a cow on stage? n00b. Now I know! But, I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE WHAT IS!!!!! WHAT IS THE WHAT???????

Norm then gazed upon our motley crew and called us, “the special class”. He laughed at our dirty jokes and humored us. ACTION JACKSON.

In the end, Jen Ellison was a better foster mother than any we could have ever ask for. I love her like unicorns and fluffy hamsters!!!

I already miss spending my Saturday mornings with my class. I love them.

Our graduation shows had their ups and downs, but in the end, our FINAL SHOW WAS PERFECTLY AMAZING! I’m so proud of everyone in our class and so happy to have been a part of it.