“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”

-Henry Kissinger

I feel like my whole life is in flux right now! There is an unrelenting deluge of potentials! I appreciate potential opportunities and I am extremely thankful for them, but the lack of certainty is killer! China! Awards shows! Finance jobs! Government jobs! SAG vouchers!

Now, my acting teacher, Tom Todoroff, a man who I look up to as imparting wisdom as beautiful and resounding as the Buddha did (sans lotus blossoms and Indian trees), often says that as humans, we feel two conflicting needs: both for certainty and uncertainty. Lord knows as an artist I feel a strong need for uncertainty, perhaps too strong, but the economics major in me knows the truth of OPPORTUNITY COST, and has a freak out session every single day.

I’m not gonna really blog about all the potentials, because it’s a lot to get into and if nothing comes of anything I’ll just be a sad little kitten playing with an imaginary ball of string. What I will say though, is that over these past few months I have learned so much about myself and life in general, it’s mind-blowing.  My improv class has really taught me the value of “yes, and…”ing throughout all the crazy situations that life inevitably throws in ones path. It’s also taught me the value of playing off confidence in every situation, even when you are completely unsure, and enjoying playing the dork, loser, person who gives in to the inevitable in a scene.

In addition, my intensive acting class was like food for the soul. The two weeks spent practicing a scene from All My Sons by Arthur Miller with my scene partner, really taught me so much about myself and my own proclivities, and the weekend spent in class from 9am to 6pm, really hit home. I just loved the teacher’s philosophy and I feel like I actually understand the craft of acting now. No one could believe it was my first time really performing a scene up on stage in the bright lights and everything. I want to push myself further now. We’ll see if I’m gonna be in LA in January. If so, I definitely am signing up for the next intensive.

I think I was originally going to write a bit of a rant about the way the LA government mismanages funds and how they just spent $600 million on a school with talking benches, when they don’t have enough money to pay teachers’ salaries, but I’m gonna lay off on that.

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